Ramblings of the Mad Cow » 2007 » October

 
    
 
    
 
    

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a really hard jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde says, “Well, according to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”

He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea. Then we can put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box.”

 
    
 
    
 
    
 
    
Dontcha hate it when zombies take the subway?

Passengers on a German train mistook a Halloween reveler dressed up as a gore-covered zombie for a murder victim and called the police.The 24-year-old man fell into a drunken slumber on his way home from a Halloween party in Hamburg, police in the northern town of Bad Segeberg said Monday.

Believing his hands and face were smeared with blood, passengers alerted police after getting no response from him.

A first aid team called to the scene soon cleared up the confusion. Police told the man to remove his make-up after which he was allowed to continue his journey.

 
    

So last week I went to a PhotoShop and Illustrator class taught by Andy Anderson, and they rocked.  I was worried that it would be a waste, or too advanced, but he really nailed it.  While I did already know several of the techniques he covered, he taught so many new, faster ways to do them, I’m already shaving tons of time off things I have to do over and over, freeing me up for more important things, like blogging and playing Majong online. 

Here’s a great example.  I could do this last week, but it would have taken me three times as long and wouldn’t have looked half as good.  Here’s a photo of a flower, and a fence.  And I want to take the flower, and make it look like a mural, painted on the fence.

 
    

I’m not blogging much yesterday and today, because I’m in training. My fabulous, wonderful, glorious boss decided I should go to a training class on PhotoShop and Illustrator. I learned so much yesterday! I was worried that this class would either cover stuff I already know about, or be miles above my head, but it’s perfect. And training like this is better than taking a “not really sick” sick day. This is work sanctioned hookie! I love it. When I get the chance I’ll post some of the doodads that I’ve been learning to do.

 
    

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