1. When I tell you to move, I mean move somewhere else! 2. The dish with the paw print is yours. The dish without the paw print is mine. Placing your paw print in the middle of my dish, does not make it YOUR dish. I can’t stress this enough. 3. The staircase is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom should not be your main objective. And don’t try to trip me on the way down, because I can fall faster than you can run! 4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. So live with it. 5. You can claw, you can whine, you can meow all you want, but there is no secret exit from the bathroom. There’s no use trying to turn the knob, or sticking your paw under the door. I will come out the same way I went in. Years of bathroom use has taught me that feline participation is not part of the process.
6. Pay close attention to this one because this is the proper order. Kiss me, THEN smell the other cat’s behind. I can’t stress this enough!