Miss Chris’s Blog

March 23rd, 2006

Does Tom Cruise really have this much pull? And are all Scientologists humorless asswipes?

From CNN
‘South Park’s’ Chef back — but not Hayes
New season will launch with ‘Return of Chef’

March 21, 2006

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) — Soul singer Isaac Hayes may have quit his job as the voice of Chef on “South Park” after a disagreement over religion, but his character will live on when the satiric cable TV cartoon returns to Comedy Central this week, the network said Monday.

Hayes and his “South Park” alter ego are at the center of an ongoing flap over an episode last November that poked fun at the Church of Scientology and its celebrity adherents, including actor Tom Cruise.

The tenth season of “South Park” will launch Wednesday with a new episode titled “The Return of Chef!”, marking the “triumphant homecoming” of lusty school cafeteria cook James “Chef” McElroy to the show, the network said in a statement.

Hayes, 63, himself a follower of Scientology, surprised producers a week ago by announcing he was leaving the series because he objected to its “inappropriate ridicule” of religion, though he made no reference to the show’s spoof of Scientology last fall.

Two days later, Comedy Central abruptly pulled a scheduled repeat of that episode, titled “Trapped in the Closet.” Sources close to the show said the rerun was canceled after Cruise threatened to boycott promotion of his upcoming film, “Mission: Impossible III,” for sister studio Paramount Pictures.

Read the rest here

March 22nd, 2006

Check out the National Women’s History Project for more info. I also posted a link on the sidebar for this one.

And while you’re boning up on your feminist facts, check out the National Organization for Women , 10 for Change and the League of Women Voters

For a great short history of the sufferage movement, check out Legacy ‘98

March 21st, 2006

Sometimes… when you cry…

no one sees your tears.

Sometimes… when you are in pain…

no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes… when you are worried…

no one sees your stress.

Sometimes… when you are happy…

no one sees your smile.

But FART!! just ONE time…

And everybody knows!!

March 20th, 2006

It’s been one week since I quit smoking. And there are no dead bodies, woohooo!

March 20th, 2006

“My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am”

March 20th, 2006

Behold my awesome sneezing powers!

March 18th, 2006

March 17th, 2006

Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics Check it out for some very interesting takes on how Hollywood physics vs. reality

March 17th, 2006

How can you not want to read about that?!?

From the WOAI: San Antonio News

Flying Cow Leaves Two Police Cars in Flames

LAST UPDATE: 3/17/2006 6:09:30 AM
Posted By: Mandi Bishop

Talk about a wild night near Seguin. A cow came flying out of its trailer, sent DPS and police scrambling, and left two police cars going up in flames.

“It was almost hard to believe,” said Detective Sergeant Maureen Watson. She has been in law enforcement for 15 years, and says she “never had a day like this. I mean the best way to characterize this it, is it’s bizarre. It’s really really strange.”

It’s strange because it started out with a truck towing cattle, and ended in fire.

Watson told News 4 WOAI, “We believe the gate of the cattle trailer came open, and the cow, for lack of a better phrase spilled out onto the Interstate. It was pretty chaotic for a while.”

Several cars hit some of the cows. One cow died. DPS troopers called for backup.

That’s when one officer was nearly run down by a speeding truck, carrying two illegal immigrants inside.

Seguin Police were out looking for those illegal immigrants. They parked their cars in the hot grass, burning two of them including that brand new 2006 Crown Victoria. Watson said, “Well, all of a sudden, another officer who’d arrived on the scene, alerted the sergeant that there was a fire.”

Everything inside was destroyed, including tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment designed for the patrol cars.

Read the rest here

I may have to make a whole new catagory for stuff like this. Wow.

March 17th, 2006

This is too funny! Oh schnap!

March 17th, 2006

March 16th, 2006

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop over the walls to see what’s going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

11. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

12. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

13. 404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested site could not be located.

14. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake)

15. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

March 16th, 2006

*We got off the Titanic first. *We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. *Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. *We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. *Taxis stop for us. *Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. *We don’t look like a frog in a blender when we dance. *Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the point). *New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. *No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo. *If we forget to shave, no one has to know. *We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. *We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. *Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.

*There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

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